


Old Blood vs YoungBlood

by Livinthemoment



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Caring Sam, Crying, Dean crying, Destiel Daily Drabble, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Songfic, Themes of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-29 01:10:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16253579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Livinthemoment/pseuds/Livinthemoment
Summary: In the end, you're left with two people that came together with warm intentions, only to be stripped bare by their own demons and the horrors of the world around them. Left with nothing but the deep seeded lust for destruction, and the fear that you will never have power over your own life again is what provides the perfect conditions for the hurricane of emotion that will leave everything in pieces.





	Old Blood vs YoungBlood

NASA classifies hurricanes as 'Large, swirling storms that produce winds of 74mph or higher.' When they form, it's over warm tropic oceans that are joined by the winds that migrate from a cooler place. That's when everything begins to spiral, suddenly the warm water and harsh winds come together in the shape of a wall of water, hurtling against helpless cities. Hurricanes are considered a natural disaster, they kill thousands of people every year. So, if your relationship resembles this type of natural disaster you shouldn't be surprised when it starts to consume you and everything around you in a whirlwind of pain. 

When words are lashed like broken glass in the wind and, hands crash like tidal waves on bare skin. The air between you is never quite right, a dense blanket of something sour encompasses your every interaction. In the end, you're left with two people that came together with warm intentions, only to be stripped bare by their own demons and the horrors of the world around them. Left with nothing but the deep seeded lust for destruction, and the fear that you will never have power over your own life again is what provides the perfect conditions for the hurricane of emotion that will leave everything in pieces. 

"You told me you would love me till the day you died. Did you mean that? Or were you talking out your ass, like always!" Castiel was standing on the other side of a motel bed, his stance was one ready for a fight, but his eyes were that of a broken, scared child. 

"... Me!? You need to step back and look at who in this relationship is actually destroying it." Dean wasn't backing down, he had been tracking the angel all over the country and now that he had found him, he wasn't letting him go without a fight.

"I have done nothing but love you! You were the one that told me to get out of your life! You're the one that pushed me away! I'm just trying to protect myself!" With his shoulders pulled back and his breathing too fast, Cas felt the sharp talons of fear digging into him around the edges, everything was happening too fast. 

 

"No! You just don't understand how I could beat you at your own damn game!" He was mocking Dean now. Trying to prevent him from really seeing how unsettled this whole situation was truly making him. The fear was not alone in his emotion ridden mind, the anger started to boil within him.

"YOU! - You... were the one that told me to get out of your life! And now that you're ready to try again!" he stopped momentarily to take a deep breath, trying to regain his once stoic demeanour. "I'm sorry... but, how could you not expect me to pull away." He quickly looked down and away, his eyes began to sting with unshed tears. 

Dean swallowed around the lump in his throat, suppressing a sob that was building. With nothing else to offer, he began to try and reason with the angel. "I'm sorry I pushed you away! Castiel, I am so sorry, I don't know how to do," -He gestured between them- "this. I've practically been a dead man walking since you left... Damnit Cas, it felt like a piece of me died when I woke up and you were just... gone. And now you won't listen to me! I might not be as old as you, but it's not youngblood that runs through these veins. I know what I did was wrong, but, when have we ever ran from a problem?" With a shaky sigh; that did nothing to dislodge the coil twisting in his stomach, he kept going.

"I need you beside me. I need you all the time, and, I can't stop thinking about how all of our conversions seem to end with a goodbye. It kills me that we are even capable of that. I want you back in my life. I want you with me all the time. I don't want to push away from you anymore, please." His voice faltered, the tone echoing someone pleading for their life instead of asking for a second chance.

It prompted Cas to falter in his resolve, this man in front of him wasn't the headstrong hunter that he knew so well. This man was broken and exposed, his every nerve bared; raw with emotion. Nevertheless, he knew that he couldn't keep living like this, that he didn't deserve to be treated so flippantly. 

"Dean, I don't want you to suffer, but I can't be treated like this. I... I have to be by myself right now. You and Sam, mean everything to me and I think that's the problem. For as long as life has existed, my loyalty has been pledged to someone, and everything else was forsaken, including myself." He watched a tear roll down Deans cheek as the realization set in, Cas wasn't coming back to him. 

"Castiel." it was a whisper, something fleeting and broken. It was only a name but the strain in each letter spoke to the pain that persisted in his heart. He was trying to express everything that was wrong with what Cas had just said, how he was going to change. He wanted to shout that he belonged, with him and Sam in the back of the Impala, on a hunt, or simply nuzzled into Deans side when the sky is cloudy and cold. They were meant to be together in his mind, that's what everything that had happened to them in the past 9 years had pointed to. 

"I think you should go, Dean." His voice was soft but resolute. "I'll leave the motel for an hour, when, I get back I expect you to be gone." He turned around, grabbing his coat as he walked to the door. He touched the door handle, only to pull back quickly as if it was on fire. 

"I still love you-"  
"And I love you." Deans voice was small and pleading.

"-even though you're young and confused. I love you so much, that I lose myself in the mix..."Cas spoke over him, letting out a firm breath when he once again grabbing the knob and with one last defeated look, he pulled the door open. "... That's why I have to do this." 

Just like that, the door was shut and Cas was gone. The room was left cold and eerily calm. Dean stood by the bed, his left hand raised to reach out for the other. The phrase; 'Calm before the storm' rang through Deans head as he dropped his hand and stared at the closed door in front of him.

Only, at this moment, he didn't the feel the way calm should. He felt bitter and alone, a tremor he couldn't place trudged through his veins like lead. With shaking hands and heavy steps, he made his way into his car, a once safe haven was now a callous reminder of a once happier time. He sneered at the passenger seat as he pulled out his phone and called the only person he could.

"Hello? Dean? How did it go, did you find him?" Sam sounded warm, the familiarity nearly helped soothe the sharp pain in his chest. Till Dean tried to answer him. 

"He... He's..." Dean let out a wet sound.  
"He's not comin' back Sammy." Sam could be heard letting out a heavy sigh, the rustle of papers on the other end created white noise for Deans mind.

"Dean, where are you? I'll come to meet you, you shouldn't be driving." He could hear his brother putting on a jacket, climbing the stairs of the bunker to come to him.

He let out a listless chuckle as he finally realized what this feeling was coursing through his body. It was death. The empty, endless, lost feeling of death. He knew the bitter sting of it anywhere, he tightened his grip on the phone with one hand and turned on baby with the other. 

"Not tonight, Sammy." He started to pull the phone away from his ear, not wanting to hear Sam's pleas. The last thing that Sam heard before the line went dead was the rumble of the engine and a voice that was almost too frightened to belong to his seemingly fearless older brother. 

"... Tonight, I'm just a dead man walking."

**Author's Note:**

> I might write a second part....I haven't decided. It would be a lot happier, i'm just very lazy


End file.
